iLove Her Not
by pancake2
Summary: Freddie has always thought he loved Carly, but is he wrong? But if he is wrong, who does he love? Is it perhaps the girl who has had a crush on him since the day they met? And just who is that girl? One way to find out - Read! Seddie  Rated for safety
1. Do I Love Her?

**iLove Her Not**

**A/N: Hi! I am actually writing most of this story in a notebook while I am at BLFAC! :) This idea actually came to me while I was zoned out at a concert… XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. Tear, tear.**

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Chapter one: Do I Love Her?**

**(Freddie's POV)**

I am so confused. And this confusion is stressing me out. I am _NOT_ the kind of person to get stressed out.

I glanced at my alarm clock.

3:00 AM.

Great. It's three in the morning and I am still awake.

Again.

It's been almost a week now. I stay up until the early hours of the morning, until I can't stay awake another second. I really wish I could sleep. I can't.

How many years has it been? Three? Four? I don't know. I think it's been four years.

Four years since I met Carly. I always thought I loved her. Lately, I haven't felt like it was her that I loved. I still feel like I love someone, but that someone isn't Carly. At least I don't think it's Carly.

Agh! I'm so confused!

"Why is this happening to _me_?" I shouted before I realized I was the only one awake. I threw my head backwards and it hit the wall with a thud. It hurt. A lot.

Today is not my day, is it?

I heard footsteps getting closer to my room. Aw, great, I woke my mom up! I dove under my covers and closed my eyes; I hope it looked like I was asleep.

My bedroom lit up as my mom ran in and turned on the light.

"FREDDIE! ARE YOU IN HERE?" She screamed. She was frantically looking around my room, but it's not like I could be that hard to find! How many people have to look frantically around a room to find a sixteen-year-old boy? Especially since I was under my covers, which don't look very flat with a person under them!

My mom yanked the covers completely off the covers off my bed and heaved a sigh of relief.

"Freddie, are you awake?" she asked as if she expected the answer to be yes.

I just laid there with my eyes shut. There was just one thing I hadn't thought of. I had yelled and made a loud noise by banging my head on the wall. If I pretended it wasn't me, who would my mom think it was? Too late, though. If I suddenly got up, my mom would freak. Although she's already going to freak!

"Who yelled if it wasn't you?" Mom asked, and I think she was talking to me. Why would she ask me a question if she thought I was asleep?

Out of nowhere, my mom started to shake me, probably because she wanted to ask me about the screaming.

"What do you want?" I almost screamed. That came out a lot harsher than I wanted it to…

"Freddie, there was screaming and then a loud banging noise! I think someone is in our apartment!" Mom practically screamed. Of course she imagines that. That just shows how paranoid she is!

"I think I was talking in my sleep," I lied. I probably shouldn't have said that. Now she's going to ask what I was dreaming about. Crud.

"What were you dreaming about?" She asked as if on cue.

"I don't know! Can I just go back to sleep?" More like back to lying there, thinking!

"Okay, goodnight." She said as she picked up my covers and put them back on my bed. To be honest with you, I hate them – Galaxy Wars. I like those movies, but I think these covers are better for a _five-year-old_! I'm _sixteen_!

As my mom left, she turned off the light, and closed the door.

That was probably the best she's ever taken anything. She freaked out that time the power went out in the middle of the day! But she didn't freak out about this? My mom confuses me sometimes. Or a lot. More like a lot.

I can't even remember what I was thinking about. Oh yeah, now I remember. I was thinking about weather I love Carly or not. I don't think I do anymore, but I always thought I had. It's been just a week since this thought first occurred to me. And it was at three in the morning, just like now. Except for now it's more like three thirty.

But who cares?

I am **so** confused. About this whole "Do I love Carly or not?" thing. I'm about ready to just decide at random. That's how annoyed I am by this confusion.

That's it. I'll decide at random.

How?

All of a sudden, I had a light bulb moment. I would play that "Loves me, loves me not" game.

I got off my bed and walked over to my closet. I'm so glad I removed that huge picture of Carly. It was beginning to scare me when I looked at it at three in the morning. I replaced it with a picture of me, Carly, and Sam. I grabbed a flower out of the corner. Why do I have a flower? Because yesterday morning, I woke up, and there was this random flower on the floor. I have no clue why it was there. Maybe someone put it there. But who?

Agh! This stupid random flower is adding to my confusion!

I want to scream. That's how confused I am. I just want to scream. But then I'll wake up everyone on our floor. And that would be bad… What would Lewbert do if someone told him? I really do _NOT_ want to see him right now. Not in the middle of the night…

I walked over to my bed, sat down, and stared at the flower that was in my hand. It doesn't look normal. It has blue petals. Yes, _**blue**_! I never thought that was possible, but apparently it is. And the middle is red. It makes no sense at all. A flower with blue petals and a red center…

I decided not to think much about it.

Why did I even get this flower out of my closet anyway? Oh yeah! I was gonna do that "Loves me, loves me not" thing.

Why?

Isn't this something a girl does when she's not sure if a guy loves her or not?

Oh, well. I don't care. I'm not even sure if I love Carly or not. That's close enough!

I looked at the flower again. It looked like it could have almost fifty petals. Which again seems impossible.

Okay, here goes nothing…

I sighed as I pulled one of the petals off the flower.

"I love her" I whispered, making sure my mom wouldn't hear me again.

I pulled another petal off.

"I love her not" I whispered.

I kept doing that over and over again.

Nearly ten minutes later, my floor was covered in blue petals, and the flower had one petal left.

I sighed as I pulled the last petal off.

"I love her… Not."

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A/N: How did you like it? Please leave a review and let me know what you thought. :)**

**A/N: Yes, there will be more. And yes, this is a Seddie story. Why else would the colors of the flower together make purple?**

**A/N: Where do you think the flower came form? I know, but I want to know what you think!**


	2. When Will He Learn?

**iLove Her Not**

**A/N: For this chapter, I'm probably going to end up writing half in my notebook and half on my computer. But that doesn't really matter; it's all going to end up the same anyway.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly. Sigh.**

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Chapter two: When will he learn?**

**(Sam's POV)**

Why doesn't he understand? He thinks that he loves Carly, but I know that truthfully, he doesn't. I'm sure of it.

Okay, maybe I'm not sure of it. But there is one thing that I _am_ sure of.

I like him. A **lot**. I might even dare to say love.

Yes, love.

And no, I'm not crazy. At least I don't think I'm crazy…

I glanced at my alarm clock.

4:00 AM.

Maybe I am crazy.

I'm stating up until four in the morning thinking about a guy.

No. Not just a guy.

_The_ guy that I've had a crush on since the day I met him.

Freddie.

But he loves Carly… At least he acts like he does.

I've fantasized about what it would be like if he truly loved _me_ and not Carly. I know, it's weird. I don't seem the kind of girl to fanaticize about guys. But I do. About Freddie anyways.

And no, I don't call him names and hurt him because I hate him. I do it because I _love_ him. And I don't actually try to hurt him. I just kind of do sometimes… Like when I broke his thumb… I really didn't mean to!

I think Freddie thinks I did. I remember that night on the fire escape…

-Flashback-

_Freddie and I were sitting on the fire escape._

_We were talking about how dumb it was that people got freaked out about their first kiss.  
Out of nowhere, Freddie laughed. _

"_What?" I asked him._

"_Nah, it's nothing" he replied, and his tone of voice told me it was __**not**__ nothing._

"_Tell me" I pleaded._

"_No, it's dumb" he really sounded like he didn't want to tell me, but I was going to make him tell me, I __**needed**__ to know!_

"_Just tell me!" I practically demanded._

"_Okay, I was just gonna say…" he started to say, but I cut him off. He was staring at me. Actually, I wouldn't say he was staring at me. He was staring at only part of me. My lips. And what that meant… Well, I think you've got the idea!_

"_That __**we**__ should kiss?" I asked, raising my eyebrows._

_His eyes grew wide. I was right!_

"_You're gonna break my arm now, right?" He asked, a terrified tone in his voice._

-Flashback End-

Agh! Stupid flashback! It ended before the best part of that night!

But anyways, Freddie seriously thought that I was gonna break his arm! I almost cried.

And yes, I do cry. Not often. Or recently. But I do. I _am_ human after all, and _everyone_ cries sometimes!

Like when I had that dumb job at Chili My Bowl. Who makes a girl clean the _men's_ restroom?

Apparently that stupid guy who I am glad is no longer my boss!

But I cried then. And I didn't want Freddie to see me cry because he would never look at me the same way again. Which could be a good thing or a bad thing. I didn't want to take any chances, though.

Why am I up so late thinking about these things? Have I gone crazy?

I think I have. I really do think I have.

I mean come on! I snuck into Freddie's apartment last night and put that odd-looking flower in his room!

If that doesn't have crazy written all over it, I don't know what does!

I looked at my alarm clock again.

4:45 AM.

Maybe _**that**_ is what has crazy written all over it…

I am staying up 'till all hours thinking about the weirdest things. And they all relate to one thing.

Freddie.

When is he going to realize that I like him?

No. Not like.

Love.

When will he learn?

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A/N: Chapter two is now over. Please leave a review and let me know what you think.**

**A/N: Now you know where the flower came from! :)**

**A/N: Sorry that chapter was so short. I ended up writing this all in my notebook while at camp… I'm writing all further chapters at home on my computer though. ;)**


	3. Today Is Gonna Be A Long Day

**iLove Her Not**

**A/N: So here's chapter three, kinda late, I know, sorry!**

**Disclaimer: Unless I have amnesia, I don't remember being Dan Schneider, and if I'm not Dan, then I don't own iCarly. Sigh.**

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Chapter three: Today Is Gonna Be A Long Day**

**(Freddie's POV)**

And now, the hard part of this whole thing. If I don't love Carly, _who _do I love?

Agh! I don't know, I'm going to bed, maybe sleep will help.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep.

It's four in the morning, and I have school in three hours, and I'm just now getting to sleep. Great.

"Just get to sleep" I told myself silently.

And I did just that.

As I slept, I had a weird dream, and it was almost more of a flashback.

_It was just a few days after Carly got her new room. Sam and I were in Carly's room, I was sitting on the ice cream sandwich love seat while Sam sat on the window seat. Carly was downstairs lecturing Spencer about why he shouldn't put his head in a bucket of purple paint, even if it helped him paint his sculpture._

"_Fredweirdo, I'm hungry, go get me some fried chicken!" I heard Sam demanded from her seat by the window._

"_Why should I?" I asked her, not looking up from the screen on my PearPhone._

"'_Cause I like fried chicken" she replied, as though I shouldn't even have asked._

"_So why don't you go get it yourself?" I asked her. _

"_Fine I will" Sam pouted as she stomped off. "You're fried chicken" I heard her mutter under her breath as she left._

I woke up.

Oh my God.

Could this mean that _Sam Puckett_ likes _me_?

No, no. That would _never_ happen.

Or would it?

Huh?

Why am I questioning myself?

But wait. Could it be possible that that had been some kind of metaphor?

Does Sam even use metaphors?

She told me she liked fried chicken. Then as she's leaving Carly's room, she mumbles to herself that _I_ am fried chicken… Oh God.

Sam likes me.

Wait a second.

Do _I _like _her_?

And then it hit me like a sack of doorknobs.

Yes, yes I do.

I stared at my ceiling.

And I fell asleep again.

It was only ten minutes later that my stupid alarm clock started going off.

Wonderful. I only got like two hours of sleep.

I walked over to my closet and pulled a random penny-tee off its hanger.

And what do you know? It was the one that said "Electric Ham"

Great day for that.

The day powered by one thought.

I like Sam.

Agh! That sounds so weird!

No matter how many times I say it, it sounds weird.

I like Sam. I like Sam. I like Sam. I'm gonna stop saying that now!

Today is gonna be a long day, isn't it?

I got dressed, and walked out of my room.

My mom was standing there, with a huge smile on her face. Why is she so happy? I guess it's because it's 6:30 AM. That's like her favorite time of the day. Why, I'll never know.

"Good morning Freddie!" She said, the same way she does every single morning.

"Why are you so happy at six thirty in the morning?" I asked her for the third time this week.

And like every morning, she ignored my question, and pointing at a plate of scrambled eggs, said "Freddie, eat your breakfast!"

Too tired to say anything more, I sat down and ate my breakfast.

Today is gonna be a long day.

And I have to go to school.

And Sam's gonna be at school.

Wonderful.

Just wonderful.

As soon as I finished my breakfast, I grabbed my backpack, left my apartment, and walked into Carly's, without knocking, as usual. And what do you know. Sam was there. Zoned out, staring at the rerun of Girly Cow that was on TV, totally oblivious to the fact that I had walked in, and eating a fat cake. Classic Sam for you!

"Sup, Freddork?" Sam asked, apparently not so oblivious to the fact that I had arrived.

"Nothing." I replied, trying to avoid looking directly at her, as I walked towards the computer on the counter. Like most mornings, I wanted to look at comments on the iCarly website.

Carly walked down the stairs, still in her pajamas.

"Why do you guys always show up here before I wake up?" She asked.

"My mom was yelling at the cat, I couldn't sleep, so I called a cab, came here, fell asleep on your couch, then I woke up, raided your fridge and started watching Girly Cow!" Sam replied as though what she said sounded totally normal.

"I got here like twenty seconds ago" I responded, turning towards the computer screen.

"Of course." Carly said, almost as though she was talking to herself. "I'll be right back down, I'm gonna get dressed." She called as she walked back up the stairs. Why did she come downstairs in the first place?

"We have to leave for school in twenty minutes" I reminded her.

Fifteen minutes later, Carly came back downstairs.

"You two haven't moved an inch since I went upstairs!" She stated.

"I'm too tired to move an inch! I only got like two hours of sleep last night!" I complained.

"Did you expect me to move?" Sam sarcastically questioned her.

"Well, we have to leave in five minutes, I'll go find Spencer." Carly said, walking towards his room.

"SPENCER, GET YOUR LAZY BUTT OUTTA BED AND DRIVE US TO SCHOOL!" I heard Carly scream from Spencer's room.

"I don't wanna!" Spencer sleepily complained.

"Too bad!" Carly yelled as she dragged Spencer into the living room.

"But I'm still in my PJ's!" He complained.

"You don't even have to get out of the car! Now let's go guys!" Carly yelled.

"Do we have to?" Sam wailed.

"YES!" Carly barked. I guess Spencer was kinda aggravating her…

"Whatever, let's just go." I said, grabbing my backpack off the chair next to me, then heading for the door.

"Freddie, why do you sound like you're about to fall asleep?" Spencer asked me.

"'Cause I barely slept last night." I answered with no expression in my voice.

We all walked down to the garage to Spencer's car. Well, not all of us walked. Sam demanded to be carried… And Carly only agreed to do so because if she didn't, we wouldn't be to school on time.

As soon as we got in the car, Sam fell asleep. I stared at her for a few seconds. She looked so peaceful when she slept. As I realized just how truly tired I was, I too fell asleep.

"FREDNUBS, WAKE UP!" Sam screamed at me while hitting me with her backpack.

"Why?" I asked, still half asleep.

"We're at school." Carly replied.

"We are?" I almost screamed.

"Yes, you are, now hurry up and get inside, I want to go back to bed!" Spencer whined. What is up with nobody getting sleep last night?

We all got out of Spencer's car and walked towards the front doors of the school. As soon as we walked in, Gibby ran up to us.

"You guys will never guess what I just found out!" He screeched just like a six-year-old would.

"What?" Carly asked, her eyes wide.

"If you eat a blue ice-pop, you're tongue turns blue!" Gibby screeched. The excited look on Carly's face completely vanished.

"That's it?" Sam asked, staring at him like he was insane. Wait a sec. Gibby _is _insane!

"See!" He screeched as he stuck his blue tongue out.

"Great, your tongue is blue…" I sleepily commented.

"Why do you sound tired?" Gibby asked me. Gosh, why is everyone asking me that?

"'Cause I am" I replied blankly.

"Okay, bye!" Gibby said, almost as though I had actually said 'I have to go to class.' Gibby is if weird. Really weird…

I walked to my locker. And in instead of going to her lock locker, Sam decided to follow me.

She looked like she was debating weather or not she was going to tell me something.

"Hey Frednubs…" Sam began, but she trailed off.

"Yes?" I asked her, knowing she had something that she wanted to say.

If only I had known just _what _she wanted to say!

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A/N: Ha ha, I'm ev****il. ****I left a huge cliffy XD**

**A/N: Reviews me happy, and when I'm happy, I am more motivated to write… So the more reviews, the faster the update! :D**

**A/N: I'd like you guys to know of that I wrote this chapter at 4:00 AM on two different days, so if you think my lack of sleep is worth the great story, review, and tell all your friends to R&R! Thanks :)**


	4. And The Phone Says It All

**iLove Her Not**

**A/N: Here comes chapter four, and what happens after that huge cliffy! :D**

**Disclaimer: Lemme go check… Nope, don't own iCarly. Grr, I wish I did. Oh, and I don't own the song **_**1,2,3,4**_**… The **_**Plain White T's**_** do… **

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Chapter four: And The Phone Says It All**

**(Sam's POV)**

"_Yes?" Freddie asked. There was no backing out now!_

"Uhmm… Nothing, it's nothing." I answered.

"Come on Sam, there's no way you would have followed me to my locker for no reason, and we both know that!" Freddie challenged.

"Fine." I said, giving up on hiding it. "It's just that… Uh…" I began, but my phone cut me off.

I felt my face heat up as I heard a song too perfect for the moment. Great choice in ringtones, Sammy…

"_1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, There's only one thing, to do, three words, for you. I love you!_"

I smacked the pocket my phone was in, turning off the song.

I knew I was blushing – hard!

And from the look on Freddie's face, I think he knew _why_ I was blushing. But what was that I saw on his face? Was that a… _SMILE_?

No, no, he doesn't feel the same way about me, does he?

"Sam," He began, a knowing smile on his face.

"Aw, what can I say, Tom Higgenson took the words straight outta my mouth!" I said, finally giving up.

But it was Freddie's response that truly astounded me.

"Mine, too." He said, a wide grin on his face.

I didn't quite comprehend at first.

Was he saying that he… That he… Liked me?

"Wh-" I began, but was cut off by Freddie's lips crashing into mine.

**-Carly's POV-**

That's weird…

I could've sworn that Sam was following me to our lockers…

And I called her, but it only rang twice before going to voicemail…

Hmm…

Oh well, it's probably nothing.

I put all my books in my locker. Sam still didn't show up.

I guess I'll go ask Freddie if he's seen her.

Freddie's locker isn't that far from mine, but you still can't really see it until you get close.

I was walking towards his locker. And then I saw Sam. Ah, she's talking to him! She probably wants to "borrow" money…

I walked closer.

"Hey Sam, why weren't you…" I started, but then I stopped. They weren't talking…

"OH MY _GOD_!" I screamed, as the scene in front of me was _EXTREMELY_ unusual.

There were my two best friends. Right there in front of me in the school hallway. They supposedly hated each other.

But if you had never seen them until this second, you'd think the complete opposite.

Why?

Because they were _making out_!

Oh my God, my life is not normal today!

**-Sam's POV-**

After about the thirtieth "Oh my God!" from Carly, and the many students crowding around us and cheering, screaming, and whatever other stuff they were doing that I paid no mind to, Freddie and I pulled apart.

"CARLY!" I screamed.

"What… The… Heck… Just… Happened?" Carly gasped, leaving huge spaces between each word.

"My phone rang…" I started, but quickly trailed off.

"And then…" Freddie began, but never finished.

"So, your phone ringing… Leads to… This?" Carly shouted, dramatically waving her arms around as she said "This".

"The phone said it all!" I exclaimed, thick fake drama in my voice.

"It really did though…" Freddie said.

"Sam, what _is_ your ringtone?" Carly asked.

"Uhh… It's 1,2,3,4…" I said, looking towards the ground. It was only my ringtone because I like the Plain White T's! There's nothing wrong with that, right?

Carly rolled her eyes.

"I just have one question." She said.

"Sure, I'm listening." I replied.

"How long had the words in that song been something you wanted to tell Freddie?" Carly asked, an extremely serious look on her face.

And in that moment, I felt my face get hot, and I'm sure it was bright red!

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OOBER LONG A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys XD And sorry it's so short… And kind of uneventful… Sorta.**

**So on my profile, I had a survey up, asking what Sam's ringtone should be. The choices were **_**Livin' On A Prayer**_** by **_**Bon Jovi**_**, **_**My First Kiss **_**by **_**3OH!3**_**, and**_** 1,2,3,4 **_**by the **_**Plain White T's**_**… At first, **_**1,2,3,4**_** had the most votes, so I started writing this chapter based off that… And by the time I was halfway done with the chapter, **_**My First Kiss**_ **had the most votes… I really didn't wanna start over, sorry to all of you who voted for **_**My First Kiss**_**! XD**

**And I've left another cliffhanger XD Sorta… The answer is in a previous chapter… But now you're gonna get to see Freddie's reaction! (And Carly's, but that isn't as important as Freddie's in this story!)**

**Please leave a review, it'll make me smile :) See, I'm already smiling just thinking about it!**


	5. It's Been A While

**iLove Her Not**

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait! Here's chapter five!**

**Disclaimer: Iay on'tday wnoay iCarly… (PIG LATIN! :D)**

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Chapter five: It's Been A While**

**(Freddie's POV)**

"_I just have one question." Carly said to Sam._

"_Sure, I'm listening." She replied._

"_How long had the words in that song been something you wanted to tell Freddie?" Carly asked._

_Sam's face turned bright red._

"Uhhhhhhh…" Sam started, trying to avoid the question.

"Uh what?" I asked, trying to get a real answer out of her.

"Let's see…" Sam started. She then began mumbling something quietly to herself and counting on her fingers.

"Sam, we don't have all day, class starts in three minutes." Carly reminded her.

"I think it was January… Third… Of 2009…" Sam said, blushing harder. Ah, the day we shared our first kiss! That makes sense!

I just smiled at her, and I think she could tell why I was smiling.

"January third, 2009? Sam! That was like a year and three quarters ago!" Carly exclaimed. "And why that day? That's just a completely random day!" If only she knew how important that day really was!

"It's not random." I said.

"Huh? Yes it is!" Carly argued.

"No it's not." Sam told her.

"Well why isn't it?" Carly asked.

"Remember when you took me to the dentist's office?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah… Why? What does that have to do with anyth- Oh my God! That was the day you two kissed? Awwwwww!" Carly squealed.

There was a kind of awkward silence, but it didn't last for long.

"Holy crab! Sam and Freddie! Are you guys, like, a thing now?" Some random red-haired girl ran up to us. As if it's any of her business!

"Uhh…" Sam looked towards me, smiling slightly.

"Sam, will you-" I started, but was cut off by her.

"Heck yeah!" She shouted, throwing her arms around me and kissing me again.

Today is a great day. I finally love someone who actually loves me back! I didn't know it until now, but that is the greatest feeling in the entire world.

And to think, it's just hours since I realized that Sam is the one who I truly love… But I guess she was always the one I loved and I just went without noticing that for a while…

Ah, who cares now? At least I know one thing.

I love Sam.

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A/N: ****I've decided to leave 2010 with a bang-schabang-boom-pow! Yep, I made up my own word! It's pretty lame XD But what that means is that I'll be updating ALL of my stories! :D This note will be at the end of each chapter :)**

**A/N: Sorry it's so short! This is the shortest thing I've ever written… I think this should be the last chapter… If you want more, tell me though! But if there's more, I'll need ideas! Wow, this is my first totally finished story… I almost don't wanna let go of it… It's like I'm leaving a part of me behind… But this is especially hard – I started this at camp, and this makes me feel almost as though I'm leaving behind the part of me from camp… And that part includes my cabin buddies… Sigh… But I know I still have those friends, so I guess I just have to say goodbye to this story… All good things must come to an end… Well, I'll just say this. I have loved writing this story and I hope you've loved reading it just as much. :)**


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